June 2, 2011

Thoughts on: Living on our own

When I got married, I agreed to J’s decision that we will stay in their house together with his brother and mother. His father was working abroad and will just be the four of us at home. I have no bad reactions to that because, well in fact, it will be harder for us to live independently yet-both of us are jobless.

That time I resigned from work because I got pregnant and after I had my delivery, J followed because he believes that good family fortune is in the field of Aviation. Right now, he pursues a second course at PATTS.

At first, I am not comfortable. Silence boggles my ears. The dining and living rooms make me empty. I am a jolly person and I can’t withstand big silence. When I was just a single lady, I am the voice within our home. I love to speak, make noise and exercise my voice. But when I stayed in J’s crib, I developed a different me. I usually saw myself staying in our room and will just go out if it needs to. There were times that I felt I’m in a different planet. I always asked myself, “Do I really exist?” (Yes, I am and so they are too!)

As months passed by, thoughts on this was just ADJUSTMENT. I learned to abide what’s in the house and definitely saw a cheerful me but not as cheerful as before. I found the 60-70% of me but not 100%. Sometimes I feel like I’m in yet out.

To date, it will be two months from now and I can say that I am happily adjusted for 1 year. ACCEPTANCE is also one thing I learned. INDEPENCENCE is another thing I am looking forward in living in our own.

I bet, I want to start my countdown now.

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